Gender Issues Around the World
As an Iranian woman who lived in the Middle East and the USA, I have so much to say about gender equality. I have seen two sides of this world, and they are not so different from each other.
Contrary to what you see in the media, Iran is not like Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan. Iranian women do have voices, and for the majority of the population, it is acceptable for women to be educated. In comparison to women of other countries, Iranian women are not tamed by the expectations of the Middle East. For example, a few years before I left the country, the government started to arrest women for not covering themselves “properly” in public.
Many women were arrested and sent to unknown places, or raped by jailors. Fear was everywhere, but many women still did not wear the veil, which is called “Chador” in Farsi. They just became more aware of the police on the streets. I was part of that rebellion. Sometimes my clothes were short and tight, something that I could go to jail for, but I was not going to lose the minimum freedom I could have. Neither were many other women.
My parents have two daughters and one son. I never felt that they underestimated me as a female. They were never easier on me because I was a girl. They wanted all of their kids to be independent and strong. My parents are modern people, but living in a place where traditional expectations still impacted people’s daily lives was almost impossible for me.
It made me struggle with my identity because of my lack of freedom. I couldn’t imagine myself marrying and having kids without pursuing my dreams first. The traditional expectations were chains around my neck that choked me. It made me hate my gender, and I wanted to be a boy.
I tried to act and dress like a boy. I even bought my shoes from the men’s section of stores. The shoes were big, but they gave me the power to be a rebel. They made me feel like I could do anything I wanted.
I wanted to be a boy because I believed women were weak. I had no idea that a woman could be strong. At that time, I did not realize that humans are not all the same and that its okay to have different interests and beliefs. I thought that girls should act a certain way. That was what I was taught by my society. I was a square trying to fit into a circle’s place.
After I came to the USA, my struggle continued. At first, it seemed to me that I could express myself freely, but later I realized that it would not be so easy. In the USA, I realized that gender equality was not only a women’s issue. Here, it also targets many men as well.
A friend of mine who truly understands women and their feelings is labeled as gay in the USA. In Iran, kissing on the cheek represents respect and love between men, but in the USA its different. I have seen so many guys suffer and stop dreaming about their passions just because their goals were not masculine enough.
Even in the USA, I have to follow certain expectations of femininity. But in reality, not all girls are interested in the same things. People have a tendency to label each other without realizing that people have more than one interest and varied experiences.
I have seen two sides of this world, and I have realized that some gender expectations limit people’s freedom of choice and ignore their individuality in both countries. My question is, why it should happen?
Why should we set certain expectations in the name of gender, as if everyone is the same? There is no such thing as complete masculinity or complete femininity and everyone falls somewhere on the spectrum between the two extremes.
Unfortunately, gender issues are still an important topic everywhere. What I have realized is that they only adopt different faces. Gender inequality still exists. Some of these issues may be less noticeable than others.Identifying the roots of the problem requires careful scrutiny of cultures and society.
